pointless commentary lfg

please send tell

in which nothing is comfortable, not even being comforted
I wonder what he isn't

wondering is no good, speculation is no good, certainty will elude me forever because there are things which cannot be empirically determined and when all I can go on is words and projection, and the former are like as not to twist around me and the latter may be the root of the problem

as ever

Either I make do with what I have been given or I decide I cannot and then I don't even know. But if I allow this to worry away at me, I shall become unhappy even if I am not now, and that will wreck everything. So there it is? Cultivate contentment or elseCollapse )

BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T GET -- you know, emotionally knocked up. :(
Ilthy and Chry have a chat.Collapse )

Chry tries to 'splain to Levh THINGS
FEEEEeeeEEElings but mostly not mine, honest!Collapse )

rp log -- Chry and Ilthy and FEEEEEEEEEeeeelings ohgod
Chry and Ilthy, sometime before the Well of Eternity IT IS TIME TO END THIS CHARAAAAAAADE, courtesy Chromie. Morning after a day of picnicing and people-watching and smoking and a camping-out night.Collapse )

Idle questions lead to emos
I figured he had all sorts of loves before, or if not loves exactly then pleasant dalliances and attachments and whatnot. The way Ash talked, it sounded like Alevh went through girlfriends when he was in the city and I imagine before that he had noble ladies he was seeing.

Doesn't bug me. I don't spend much time thinking about it, and when I do it's more to wonder if there's things they did that made him happy that I could do too. Maybe it's silly because

well, it's not as if he's the same elf he was then, is he?Collapse )

if love is in the air, what does it smell like?
Holidays don't count when you're away in time. I've decided and I'm sticking to that. They aren't like birthdays -- birthdays happen whether or not anybody so much as glances at them. And the time I was away I didn't celebrate anything at all. Except I guess the end of it all the first time.

Last year didn't really count either. I was away for it but not in time, just on a naga-chase and using It and not feeling very festive anyhow. All right, it was festive in a horrible way because Dawnforged and Netha were all busy falling in love, but it wasn't festive for me.
FeeeeEEEEeeelingsCollapse )

End times part two
After breakfast, he found some words. They were not enough and he doubted they're the right ones -- are they ever? -- but something had to be said before he leaft. So:

"I have some work today. Probably the next few days, actually. It's different from my normal stuff. If I'm in two places at once for a while, the ring tracking system's not buggy. And if I vanish from it entirely, don't panic. Weird work, that's all."

"Don't panic? That's a tall order, but I'll do my best."

Chry had to look at him to make sure that wasn't pure understated irony. But no, the worry was there already like it had been the last time Chry had needed to do an overnight elsewhere for business reasons. It was even dialled up a bit in the cast of his ears, the little lines on his forehead. Chry smiled at Alevh, trying to be reassuring but he knew this was all probably just making himself feel a little better.

He's going to miss me.

Then the relief came all crashing down into guilt. Self-centered cruel Keenblaze. This was at least as bad as thinking about asking Ilthus to kiss him or something with Levh around just so Chry could try to see if there was a reaction, any reaction.

He pulled Alevh toward him for a hug, heedless of the dangerous elf-shrinking (wet! wet! Sooty disapproves of wet) dish-suds on the older elf's hands and arms. "I'll do my level best to get back in time for dinner. I want -- fel. I promise I'll do my best. I love you." Chry buried his face in Alevh's hair toward the end of it and held his breath for a few beats once he'd made himself shut up.

Alevh embraced him tightly, a steady mooring for the clinging Chry. It wasn't a casual, comfy, sleepy hug but a firm hold, sharing his warmth and scent and stray soapy suds. "Love you, my lovely boy," he murmured, giving Chryseth's back a pat. He paused, then leaned up to bring his lips to the mage's ear: "Vegetable stew sound good to you?"

"Sounds delicious." And it did, but not half as much as that embrace. He tilted his head to gently rub his ear against Alevh's lips. A thought overtook him -- several thoughts, really, but one was more pressing than the others. "M'not sure yet exactly where this work'll take me. Might be somewhere exotic. If so, I'll try to bring something home for you?"

"Sure. But make sure you bring my Keenblaze back." Alevh gave him a gentle peck of a kiss before returning to the dishes.

Sooty chirped a friendly farewell from the comfort of Alevh's shoulder but most of his attention was on the vital work of washing-up supervision. Chry took a long lingering look at the two of them even though he didn't really need to. The pleasure of seeing was worth something even if it didn't last as long as the pleasure of remembering.

He found Jiel fishing near Unu'pe, Little at his side. As Chry got closer he could see the wolf was trying to get into the basket of already-caught fish by the knight, intent enough on her task that she didn't even look up at him. It was just as well, Chry supposed, since he probably didn't smell nearly as interesting compared to the foods she wanted to get at.

"An Fharruk," Chry said once he was near enough. "I have need of you."

"Oh?" Both of the death knight's black-tipped ears turned to Chryseth now. "What needs killed?"

"I’m not sure yet," Chry said cheerfully. He came to stand by the knight, close enough for a shoulderbump and to offer his hand to Little, who only had time for a few quick finger-slurps before she went back to trying to nose into the basket of loot. "Chromie showed up to ask for my help with something and said you could come along too. Asked for you, really. You don’t mind? I hope?"

"'Course not," Jiel replied, hopping up and reeling his line back in... and then pausing and looking back at the mage, brows at a worried angle. "Wait... Chromie? You mean that bronze dragon? Asked for me?"

"That she did. Said I should bring my blade. Both of em. If you don’t want to go -- I know it’s not as if she’s in your chain of command -- I can tell her you said no..." Chry’s words skidded to a stop and he looked to the sea. As usual, it had no helpful advice.

"Noooo, no no -- no!" Little scampered away from the death knight's flailing hand with what looked like three whole fish in her mouth. Jiel sighed loudly and looked back at Chry. "No, I mean, I'm coming, you're not getting out of that." He smirked and flexed his fingers in imitation of a Death Grip. "Just... sounds like it's gotta be something dangerous, if the dragons want both you and your violent, stinky friend."

"Actually she said the big dead one. I hope that’s not too offensive.” Chry blushed and gestured apologetically. "My other blade."

Jiel wore quite the interesting gobsmacked expression for a moment before scrunching his face up in exaggerated irritation. "You're telling me some bronze dragon called me fat!?" He slung his fishing pole over his shoulder and picked up his basket of fish with a pouty huff. "Must be serious danger indeed, if they're making sure I'm going in there as wound-up as possible." Stomp, stomp, stomp off towards the house; "C'mon, let's get my runeblade and crap and head there straight away."

"I’m sure she didn’t mean..." But Chry gave up and followed, still blushing and mumbling to himself. For all he knew, she did mean it that way and Jiel read it straight. If things needed smashed, there were worse ways to make sure smashing would occur on schedule.

They snuck past the Silverbuckle house. Or rather Jiel snuck, hunched and hooded; Chry just gave it a longing look over his shoulder but kept moving to the workshop where Chromie waited.

"Keenblaze! Jiel Mornherald!" She looked to the mage for a moment and got a nod of approval -- yes, yes his name is Jiel -- and then back to the knight. Her brow furrowed slightly. "What’s the matter, Ebon Blade? You look... wroth."

The death knight endeavored to smooth out his expression as quicky as possible, clanking to attention. "Nothing, ma'am. Here to put my runeblade to work."

"He thinks you called him fat,” Chry said helpfully. "He’s not, you know."

Chromie was take aback for a moment -- just a flash of confusion and hesitation before she put on a smile again. "I’d never," she said. "If anyone has ever, it’d be the Lord of the Infinites but you don’t want to hear that from me. I said big, didn’t I? I meant big and strong. The words are different in Draconic, you know, and if Thalassian isn’t as eloquent it’s not my fault. I didn’t write it."

Jiel briefly boggled before shutting his mouth, eartips wilting in a subtle Jiel-blush. Chry stepped in to save the Blade from continued embarrassment. "The Infinites? D’you mention them by chance, or is that what we’re up against?"

"In a manner of speaking... yes. For now. It’s bigger than that but the full explanation might take longer than we have to spend. Ever wanted to see what would happen if Deathwing won?"

"Not... particularly," Chry answered, glancing toward Jiel for some sort of confirmation of this opinion, though all he got was a worried shrug. "I mean I’ve thought about it but it seems like it wouldn’t be more interesting than rocks fall, everyone dies."

"That’s not too far from the truth, I think. Unfortunately there are those who are less prone to see that particular regrettable future so clearly. A demonstration is needed, you know all about those right? I can’t tell you much more than this, but trust me, this is important."

Chry looked at Jiel again but the Blade was busy playing the strong silent type, so he gave him another careful shoulder-nudge. "Well, even if it weren’t important I’d come running at your call. Got my sword, got the best elf around to have at my back... let’s do this."

I am an idiot.
And we knew this already ok. But this is further proof of it for me.

Raid finder tool, second newraid. Yey. I did fine on stabbing mans though I know I wasn't topping any charts -- it's hard to do that when I'm still going omgwtfbbq what are all these other PEOPLE doing here and I'm sure I'll get better at it. Didn't die at all. Won a bunch of rolls. Like, a trinket off one boss then BOTH rolls on another nicer trinket that dropped off another...

And this is where I became an idiot.

I traded both second trinkets away to other people. I have lingering loot issues courtesy Everquest raiding a decade ago or whatever, and winning tons of stuff is RONG OK. People I gave trinkets to were veryvery grateful and it made me feel good and anyway I wouldn't want to be greedy. I still have my first trinket, yay trinket.

We finish killing Deathwing and a dagger drops. And two other weapons but they are not daggers so who cares. There's only one other rogue there but he's combat so he'll pass it to me (honest, he asked in raidchat if I wanted it before he rolled). YesIwantit... except hunters have also rolled need on it.

A hunter wins and then promptly offers to trade it to me for a trinket I do not have. Namecalling ensues, none of it by me -- otherrogue is incensed on my behalf which was rather cute actually. Luckily(?) greedyhunter will trade it to me for the remaining trinket, the first one I got, the one I was replacing my now-aged Darkmoon card with.

I'm annoyed at greedyhunter.

Maybe I should have let him keep his fairly useless for him unless he's an idiot dagger and not given him something he wanted for it. After all, now I've WASTED a whole Landslide enchant by getting a lucky drop from a fiveman earlier in the night prettied up. Ugh. I don't know. All I know is I've killed Deathwing on lolezscrub mode and I dislike greedy pricks. Greedy pricks who were all "stfu I carried u, u sux!!!" at otherrogue.

It's sort of taking away most of the glow of accomplishment I'd been feeling.
Tags: ,

Old friend, old debt, end times
At the Faire, his fortune gives him chills. "Time is nothing; timing is everything." He knows it's silly that it makes him feel anything at all, since the whole Faire is probably nothing more than greasepaint and mirrors and bits of polished glass.

The polished glass part at least he knows for a fact.

But he forgets that worry for a while when he watches Alevh watch the kids digging in the sandbox. The older elf isn't exactly reveling in delight but he's relaxed and enjoying himself, and that's all that really matters. Quiet times of pleasure are to be cherished. Chry is young but he knows this to be true.

Later that night he's reminded of what it takes to keep those moments coming.

She's waiting for him in his workshop, a gnome in robes who isn't wearing her customary smile. Still, she seems... mostly happy to see him. Or relieved or something, especially when he nods in greeting and recognition. That part he thinks he understands. In her place he'd be ever worried that he's approaching people at the wrong points, when they haven't met him yet, when it's not the proper present.

"I hope I haven't been keeping you waiting long, Chromie," he says.

She relaxes another tad. "No, no, not at all. Spare a moment for an old friend?"

"All the moments you need," he says.

He's sure someday he'll come to regret that. It's not a light promise to make. But still -- he owes her. He owes her for the fact that he has a life worth living, or so he believes, and having that revoked would destroy him.

All the moments she needs.

She just nods, seeming unsurprised at hearing him say that. Probably not the first time, not for her. "Good. I think I'm going to need a lot of them. There's a problem and we'd like for you to help us solve it for once."

"Okay. When do we leave and what do I need to bring with me?"

"It's urgent but not imminent. We have some wiggle room. Give me your tomorrow, and the tomorrow after that, and then we'll see where the timestreams stand. And bring your wits at their sharpest, and your blade as well." Her gaze flicks to his sword and her expression softens ever so slightly. "Bring both of them. The big dead one too, if you think he wouldn't mind. Right now the Flight can use all the weapons on their side we can get."

Chryseth swallows. His hand drops to Soulspark's hilt and he lets that soothing presence wash over him. "All right. I think he's been eager to get some action anyhow, and I did promise I'd tell him before I..."

"Before you traipse off in time again. Yes." She gives him a smile, sad and fond. "Yes, have him here with you in the morning and ready for a fight. I doubt that'll take much convincing."

They shoot the breeze for a bit, but they're both pretending. Chry can taste war and it's entirely surprisingly pleasant, even more so than the smokes she finally gives him as a gift before she leaves.

Chry stays in the workshop long enough to roll and savor one before going back to Alevh, smelling of the sweet sweet drugs and not really caring. He can't think of how to explain what he's going to be filling his days with for a bit so he doesn't even try. Maybe afterward it'll make a good story.

If there is an afterward.

If the Bronzes are worried about something, really really worried, Chry knows this might very well mean that soon won't be any new tomorrows to speak of.

ooc wow STUFF -- on grouping and funs
I got alliance rogue up to 85 quite some time ago and then gleefully went about gearing him in fivemans. I mean, rogue got to be my favorite class for a while and might still be. There's just something joyous about combo points and stabbing things and more stabbing and being in melee. Anyhow I had enough fun on him that he was almost done with everything he could buy with VP (and no tokens from raiding) a couple of weeks before the patch hit. He had his 2pc bonus but hadn't bought gloves yet and I decided 4.3 would be soon enough I shouldn't bother getting the vp together for those because... well, I was getting bored with trolls.

I had got my horde rogue to 85 as well but sort of got disgusted with the groups he was lucking into. Hey, bad luck's luck too. Incompetents mostly, people who should've mentioned they'd never done the fights before and they were tanking ffs. I don't mind people being new to things, right now I'll be utterly new to the Hour of Twilight fivemans and the new raid thingy once I step into them, but there's a level of irresponsibility when you don't know fights and you don't bother to LET ANYONE KNOW you don't know them before you try to take on the task of tanking or healing the things. At least when they've been out a while. Right now I think it's safe to assume everyone in the new things are also new to them, even if that's not entirely accurate.

Anyhow I wanted something new to do so I dusted off an alt I'd entirely neglected, horde shaman who wasn't even 15 (and capable of random dungeoning) when I picked him back up. I mean he was neglected to the point that he had the midsummer buff on him still ok. And I could have leveled him as enhance; I find it an entirely delightful smashy spec. but but. Mostly just one but -- but I've done the quests in the game mostly to the ground, man, or at least it feels that way when I'm trying to decide what zone to do next.

Since shamans are inexplicably barred from tanking (they can use shields! and enhance used to have some thoroughly confused tanky-ing talents!) the only sensible option remaining was leveling as resto. After all, on my 85s whenever I had a resto shaman in the group I thought the laser of healing was pretty neato and what could be better than laser heals of my own?

Horde shaman isn't 85 quite yet. He's in Northrend though which is sort of frightening. He may well be my next 85, unless I finish my dk just to have it done -- 84! almost 85! and yet not motivated to actually play him because dk is not rogue! And then I'll be down to just having warlock to level to have caught em all on one side or another or both.

So. Babby healing. It's a strange thing because for large chunks of the leveling experience nobody needs a tank really. Not even in instances. DPS can run off and be idiots and as long as the healer's relatively competent and willing to subsidize stupidity (and sometimes without a healer they're just fine too) they can pretty much tear things up. There is a catch though, at least where I'm involved.

Sandy has left me unwilling to subsidize stupidity.

Then too I have my stable of dps alts what make me cringe at the total lack of self-preservation instinct these babbies seem to show. Making us look bad! cry my hunter and mage and rogue and... yeah. So I don't heal dps who pull for the tank. I don't heal dps who deliberately do the dumb things. I'm an asshole because it might make my life easier when they're 85 or on their 85s if they've gotten used to dying when they are dumb.

There has been surprisingly little whining or maybe I ignore them before they can get to the calling me names stage. I was recently (in a 65+ Outland instance) told my JERB is to keep AT THE FRONT OF THE GROUP WITH THE TANK and it's not the tank's responsibility to have any idea where I am; I'd gotten a bit behind and by the time I caught up the tank was dead from the mobs he'd pulled. My fault, he and the rogue told me; I should have let them know I was behind.

Never mind that I didn't have time to do this before he was dead. Never mind that often even if a healer is screaming for a mana break they go ignored because "lol srry didnt reed group chat lol." Never mind that when I'm on my tank alts I know damn well if I outrun the healer and pull it's my lookout what happens to my hp bar.

So yeah I /ignored em both, reported one of them for a naming violation because I do that whenever I run across bad names, and finished the instance. No reason to waste a votekick on them, no reason to drop group though I did consider telling them to just kick me. I didn't because I wanted the xp and didn't want to have to re-queue for a group that probably wouldn't be any better.

If this sounds bleak, like randoming on leveling alts is like wading through a wading pool filled with turds and jello, maybe it's because it often is. But there are those glimmers of delight -- not in that wading pool, mind you, anything glimmering there is most assuredly not delightful -- where I run into people who are genuinely fun to be around for the duration of the run. Or the people who are really really good at what they do, like the bear tank in Ramps who also has a level 85 bear and watching them tank was like watching ursine ballet.

There are also the people who are honestly new to the game and haven't seen all this stuff before (the guy I was with in Mana Tombs who was sort of noobish but not facedeskingly bad who paused at one point to remark upon how neato the zone was and it was phrased in a way that made me think he'd never once been there before on any character, and I remember he got the achieve at the end for completion). There are, yes, there are the people who take the time to tell me what an awesome healer I am and I eat that up like candy.

Yeah, I am an awesome healer. Over 100 combined levels of priest plus seventy levels now of shaman will do that to you when pretty much all you're doing is minding health bars. If I weren't pretty good at it by now I'd have to think my alts are in the wrong line of work.

But with 4.3 out (mogging how I love thee, let me count the ways and pack each of them away carefully in my void storage oh yes) I feel like I ought to be putting some time into my 85s. Yes chibitankfriend you may shake your head at me and tell me LAAAAZE and I agree lazing is good. Not feeling pressured is good. Ought is a shitty thing when it's in a game but there it is, I ought to be paying attention to my biguns.

I did poke my nose into a new fiveman with Chry but he came in on an in progress that wiped on the boss they were on and everyone but me left but I don't think the wipe was my fault? And then I said screw this and went off to tank some regs (not even heroics) on my pally because I sort of miss tanking and

holy shit

tanking is fun. Yeah, not a real earthshattering announcement there because it's something I already knew and chibitank knows and ballet bear knows (though she does not read my blag). I'd done bits of tanking -- alliance pally is Northrend level and I got to take him out a bit with his magefriend and they did Utgarde Keep a few times -- but not anything 85 for months now because just ergh stress blah feeling bad at my job mehmeh rather be dpsing or healing. But I did three regs, one HoO and one GB and one LCoTv and each of my groups was fantastic and relaxed and I felt like I knew what I was doing and was able to do it.

So tomorrow I might take him out into some reg heroics though I live in fear of troll dungeons. Except...

except really I don't live in fear of them. I've done them a ton of times on melee dps, I know how the fights go and what big screwups people are prone to. So I can either avoid them or be comforted with the knowledge that whatever dumb stuff I do I won't be the first.

I think I want to get him a blacksmithed tanking weapon made. Now that chaos orbs are tradable this isn't a painful proposition. Just need the truegolds.

Then I get to decide who I'm taking into the new fivemans. Some alt I don't feel emotionally invested in being good on is probably best. Or alliance rogue. He needs a new mainhander anyway.

So yeah, though I'm dreadfully bored of leveling with quests... and so so tired of deepsing ZG/ZA (but ha HA now they're mixed in with all the old heroics so suck that troll dungeons!)... and still not sure if I want to play my main at ALL...

I'm having fun. In fact there's enough different types of fun I could have that I'll be well entertained for a while yet. I mean I didn't even babble yet here about being on my priest and yet every time I get on him to do things I'm all OMG YES THIS IS MY CLASS MWAHA and I fall in love with him all over again. Hell, I just did the most fun Vortex Pinnacle of my life on him. I love priesting.

(I should add -- I know the two of you who read this thing already know how I'm all YEY FUNTIEM. This is in no way intended to be a PLAY WITH MEEEEEEEEeeeeee passive-aggressive ploy. I just wanted to write something anything dammit because I don't write enough and I might as well gush all over the internet about things I enjoy. Except that sounds suspiciously like making excuses for writing prons which I most definitely do not do and if I did I would not post them here unless they were rp-related and TASTEFUL right, very tasteful any hypothetical Chryseth-related prons.)
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